JEFF FOSTER’S DANGEROUS SPIRITUAL BYPASSING OF DEPRESSION
This essay is a response to “spiritual teacher” Jeff Foster’s post about depression.
Jeff’s post is an example of dangerous, unhinged misinformation crafted by someone with no grounding in psychology or medical science. It is a violation both to those who suffer, as well as for those who love and want to help them.
If you can’t access the post, here’s the image. Have a read (w/ a deep breath):
I hope my response reaches Jeff and that he makes appropriate changes to what he has shared in his misguided, black or white, statements about depression. And I hope it reaches some of his hundreds of thousands of followers who consume his ill advice. Of course, if I have missed the mark, I welcome feedback and correction.
To be clear, my response is not a wholesale criticism of Jeff. I’m upset with his irresponsible portrayal of depression. I’m also dismayed by his lack of action and accountability in light of many of the dissenting, critical comments on this post. To be fair, I appreciate some of Jeff’s work, especially his meditations for resting in “unconditional presence” (as but a first step towards comprehensive healing, especially for mental illness and trauma) and some of his poems.
Finding support, much less the clarity and strength, to emerge from depression is extremely challenging. Foster’s minimizing and mischaracterizing this dire condition as merely a “need to rest” or to “be heard” is grossly misleading. I have therefore written this essay especially for all who have read his easy-exit accounts from depression and felt more shame and unworthiness as a result of not being able to come out of it simply by “resting,” which is what he proposes.
FYI, my tips for surviving major depression, which I wish I had while enduring it, are here. They are psychologist-vetted and free to download.
I don’t want to see more unnecessary harm done to those suffering from mental illness. As I, and anyone who has been there knows, the suffering from major depressive disorder is all but unbearable, without added stigmas, misinformation, and fairy tales.
The Nature of Depression
Make no mistake, Jeff’s mischaracterization and lack of knowledge about depression are common. So, for starters, here are are some overarching stats about depression (including mild, moderate, and severe):
- Depression is the most common mental disorder in both the USA and the world
- An estimated 5% of adults suffer from depression worldwide and it’s on the rise
- Depression is about 50% more common among women than among men
A crucial point to clarify from the get-go: Foster speaks of depression without differentiating what level or kind of depression he is discussing. This is problematic. His blanket use of the term must therefore include all forms and kinds of depression, including severe depression, or what is called “clinical depression” or “major depressive disorder.” My response therefore speaks to significant depression, and especially to severe depression, for which the stakes are highest and Jeff’s recommendations most damaging.
I’ve never met anyone with clinical depression, nor heard from another therapist about a client, who has been lifted from depression’s hell by Foster’s approach. If his approach worked, and with the reliability he suggests, it would be in the medical literature and a gold standard in treatment facilities. But it’s not.
Rather, those with depression suffer unnecessarily from not being diagnosed, not receiving evidence-based treatment, and only being heard. This, in part, is because the “accept everything” approach doesn’t work with illnesses like depression, which primarily require what’s called opposite action (discussed ahead). In the post—and the essay, “Divine Suicide,” from which the post is excerpted—Foster essentially equates depression with exhaustion — that depression results from the “weight of the false self, the mind-made story of who we are” and the “exhausting drama of personhood,” to be exact.
If we could only drop our persona, our false self, we could end depression, Jeff suggests. The corollary is therefore that one need only to rest in the true self, in pure awareness, and in the vibrant buoyancy of a meaningful and purposeful life. This, of course, is not true for most depression sufferers.
Clinical depression steals meaning and purpose. Living without meaning and purpose can precipitate a degree of depression, but merely becoming purposeful is no easy task or cure for depression, nor so simple as what Jeff portrays in the post or in his “Divine Suicide” essay. Rather, this is how Foster ignorantly and irresponsibly spins a serious medical condition — one associated with a high mortality rate, much of which is accounted for by suicide — into an apparently self-serving support for his brand: rest. At the end of his essay, he even describes “the desire for suicide” as a “desire for the deep rest of yourself.” Just, wow.
Ironically, Foster goes to lengths in the essay to portray himself, and to repeatedly remind us, that he really hasn’t “done” anything to help his client, that he is merely a humble and selfless servant.
Severe depression requires doing something. It’s not usually caused by exhaustion, nor a call to rest. Rather, exhaustion is a symptom of depression. In other words, the illness causes the fatigue.
Nor is depression like grief, where it’s often appropriate to deeply be with the pain and fully feel it until we get through it (unless it turns into complicated grief and depression). Sadness from loss doesn’t need to be fixed. Major depression, on the other hand, usually does need fixing — because IT IS AN ILLNESS, just like cancer or diabetes. If one wishes to emerge with the least amount of unnecessary suffering, then depression must be accurately understood and treated.
Unconditionally “hearing” a depressed person is helpful, a first step to create connection, validation of their experience, and to let them know they are loved. But it’s not nearly enough to lift depression, which often requires a multi-pronged approach and gradual recovery.
Foster’s prescription in the post is a black or white declaration and instruction for all depression sufferers, when it’s most likely appropriate for few to none.
Some commenters, however, seem to appreciate Foster’s advice, in whole or in part. Yet, I wonder how many of them have experience with significant depression, and if they are merely among the many who misunderstand this grossly mischaracterized illness? Jeff’s advice seems more appropriate for those needing to find their truth and a new direction in life. This seems to have been true for Jeff’s client he describes in the essay, which brings us to the next leg in our journey . . .
Divine Suicide
Again, Foster’s post is an excerpt from a larger essay titled “Divine Suicide: Depressive Breakdown as a Call to Awakening,” which can be found here. It’s a story about a woman he helped in a private session, who he alleges suffered from “suicidal depression.” And lest you think that because she was suicidal that she was necessarily severely depressed, think again. There is actually no definitive indication that she had depression, especially not major depression. Rather, contextual information suggests she was not (clinically) depressed.
First, while suicidality is a common symptom of clinical depression, you don’t have to be depressed to contemplate or plan suicide. So, just because Jeff’s client was suicidal does not mean she was depressed. Even if she was clinically depressed, it still doesn’t justify Foster’s advice or characterizations of depression. Next, there is no information as to whether the woman was formally diagnosed with depression, or if Jeff merely described her this way. There’s also no indication whether she had been in therapy or was taking medication. There’s yet more to suggest that she was not (clinically) depressed:
At the end of the Divine Suicide essay, Jeff mentions that the next morning his “suicidally depressed” client . . .
“was already finding herself boxing things away, making arrangements, selling unwanted possessions, preparing for a new life, a life of freedom and possibility and newness.”
Someone with significant depression isn’t usually able to mobilize this kind of clarity, coordination, or effort overnight, and certainly not on their own. A depressed person “cannot simply pull themselves together.” Many are lucky to make it off the couch to get to the toilet.
Jeff also writes that as a result of their meeting, “Suddenly, everything became so clear” and “this was total relief” and she was now “sinking into the deep truth of herself.” This is not what happens for someone with clinical depression. It describes a person with their mental-emotional-biological faculties largely in-tact. You can compare Jeff’s client with professor Dr. Robert Sapolsky’s description of a truly depressed person in this excellent informative video given at Stanford University.
That Foster describes his client as experiencing “total relief” and that her heart was now “wide open to possibility” and that “her relationship with her daughter had shifted overnight” — all overnight — also tells us that this was not (serious) depression. Jeff is using a coaching session to misrepresent emergence from “suicidal depression.”
Among the criteria for major depression, and to a degree, less severe depression, are:
“a slowing down of thought and a reduction of physical movement; markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day; fatigue or loss of energy; and diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness.”
Psychomotor retardation (slowed movement and cognition) and sleep issues are also common to depression. Jeff’s client’s ability to mobilize physically, mentally, and spiritually overnight also make it highly improbable she suffered from moderate to serious depression. The fact that his client could even contact and feel her truth is not something that the maelstrom of significant depression allows, which is part of why it’s so harrowing. In fact, it’s unclear if Jeff’s client suffered even “minor depression.” But since Foster doesn’t acknowledge depression as an illness, he is likely unaware of what, in reality, it entails.
When I was clinically depressed, it felt like a heavy AF dark cloak was draped over me 24/7, which I could not punch through, except when I switched to feeling intense anxiety. There was no in-between, no regulated okness. I toggled between intense spikes of anxiety and perilous drops into stultifying darkness, both which were severe. Here’s a sweet little poem I wrote as I was finally getting a foothold and began to emerge from the Big D:
DARKER THAN DARK
There is a darkness
darker than dark,
a place I never want
to go ever again.
It does not birth
but only steals.
It is to be overcome,
not embodied or obliged.
It will consume everything,
all you hold beautiful.
It will kill you
if you let it.
It almost did me
until I found others
in-person, not virtually,
to help me hold,
to be
what I alone
could not.
Jeff claims that just by listening to his client and not trying to change her, she made a dramatic, overnight turnaround. That’s great, whatever the cause for her turnaround. But don’t suggest it as a depression cure. Significantly depressed individuals need a LOT more help than simply being heard. That’s why there are evidence-based treatments for depression.
In the essay, Jeff plays the hero, while reminding us throughout how humble he is and that he really didn’t do anything. He writes,
“I did not try to play ‘spiritual teacher’, ‘expert on suicide prevention’ or even ‘therapist’. I did not try to fix her, to mend her, or even to ‘save’ her. I simply listened to her . . . I have no clever psychological theories.”
The irony is that his client most likely didn’t have clinical depression, or even moderate depression. She was someone on the wrong track in life, had reached a breaking point, and needed to switch gears to a different way of living. Ironically, if she had significant, clinical depression, Jeff would have needed psychological theories, expertise on suicide prevention, strategies to “fix” and “mend” her condition, and clinical savvy to help “save” her.
Portraying this as a miraculous “suicidal depression” cure (by “doing nothing”) is, to use an English expression thrown down by a commenter, BULLOCKS. Of course, there are all kinds of anecdotal cures reported about depression, and every other diseases for that matter. But to frame depression, and remedy, as Jeff does is plain wrong.
Now, back to the post . . .
Just Cuz It Rhymes
. . . Doesn’t make it a fact. Foster’s post begins with a specious premise: because “depressed” sounds like “deep rest” the two mean something similar and are meaningfully related. This phonetic similarity, with no etymological or factual concordance, is egregious magical thinking. It’s a common New Age maneuver to assert fact by casual association.
More, it’s spun specifically to support Jeff’s “rest” brand. Why doesn’t Jeff assume the equally reasonable (yet still fantastically illogical) reciprocal: that deep rest is a state we enter when we need to feel horrible and lose our joy, vitality, and motivation to live? Regardless, he uses a homophone as the basis for his assertions, to spin an unhinged assessment about depression that aligns with the spiritual bypassing he espouses and sells. As one commenter mentioned:
The rest of the post gaslights those suffering from depression and misinforms those who could help them. Depression sufferers need ALL the help they can get, especially in a world that misunderstands, stigmatizes, shames, gaslights, and Hollywood-izes depression (and most other mental illnesses), such as being bummed out because it’s raining, or running out of your favorite salad dressing.
Depression is not Rest
The exhaustion of clinical depression is not brought on by the “weight of the false self, the mind-made story of who we are.” Sure, an inauthentic life can be burdensome and cause a certain psychic and even physical exhaustion. This might lead to despair and emptiness. But, these are not synonymous with depression, especially not clinical depression.
And lest you believe that depression is a signal to physically rest: depression is not a call or invitation to rest, at least not for long. While chronic fatigue can increase risk for depression, merely resting isn’t documented to alleviate the condition. Again, the situation is actually the opposite: tiredness is a physiological symptom of the illness. As one commenter on the Facebook post mentioned,
Indeed, depression is not restful. Nor is it alleviated by rest. Depression is a harrowing, terrifying, disabling, and too frequently leads to suicide, especially when untreated. Effective, evidence-based, and timely treatment are crucial in reversing depression. Yet, not treating depression is what Jeff Foster recommends. Mischaracterizing depression based on nonsense phonetics, asserting it’s not an illness, as well as condemning medication, amount to non-treatment. Nor is suicidality “the desire for the deep rest of yourself.” At least not healthy, restorative rest.
All this said, as another commenter astutely points out on the post, and with which I concur:
“Having said that, one of the first steps in healing is going easy on yourself and accepting the need to rest. But only the first step. You still need to do the work to heal.”
Especially noteworthy is the above commenter’s last sentence: “You still need to do the work to heal.” A little bit of rest can be helpful in depression, because the fatigue is real. You might have to rest at times due to sheer limitation and not over-do it all at once, or when genuinely exhausted, especially upon exertion.
So, compassion for oneself to be tired, and rest, is usually helpful. But, again, only as a first step. The next crucial steps are to actively, incrementally heal by becoming more active, just like after surgery or other illness. In my own bout with depression, I had to force myself to be active, even though I didn’t feel like it. And I needed support to do this. This is common to every depression sufferer I’ve known and treated. Activity, not continued rest, ultimately helps lift depression. This is the psychological wisdom of “opposite action.”
Opposite action is a principle from DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a form of CBT). DBT is an evidence-based treatment that has been shown to be helpful for treating depression (also see here). Opposite action involves doing the opposite of what we feel and even believe — the opposite of what our apparent body wisdom or intuition may be telling us. This is crucial to grok because when we are in debilitated, dysregulated state of depression (or severe anxiety), our body and available intuition are usually not so reliable.
To listen to depression, as Jeff Foster recommends, would mean lying around inert 24/7 “resting.” Resting this much, or even 1/5 as much, is to fall further into the black hole of depression. It would mean believing that everything is as dark as it seems. We would be more likely to follow through on suicidal thoughts and feelings. This would be to listen to and believe depression’s voice. It would be to do the opposite of what has been shown to help depression.
The brains of depressed individuals are not restful. The amygdala (emotional center of the brain) of a depressed patient is more active than that of non-depressed people. It doesn’t become more restful by physically resting. You can listen to the brilliant Stanford professor and neuroendocrinologist, Dr. Robert Sapolsky, here (@ 12.25 mins.) talk about the elevated internal stress state found in depression, which state is not alleviated by rest.
The cortex, hippocampus, and thalamus brain regions can become less active, and actually shrink. But this is not a healthy, functional form of rest. It’s atrophy and brain damage. The under-active cortex in depression loses its dampening effect on the emotional brain, which is why the amygdala becomes overactive. This mirrors my personal and professional experience: a person with depression may appear to be resting, but inwardly they are in turmoil. Clinical depression is not, as Foster writes, a “very misunderstood state of DEEP REST” and a “longing to . . . free ourselves from the exhausting drama of personhood.”
Rather, Jeff Foster misunderstands depression.
Meditation and Medication
Foster also asserts that depression:
“needs to be listened to and understood, not medicated, analysed or meditated away.”
This dismisses the decades of research, wisdom, science, and clinical expertise of treating depression.
What are Jeff’s credentials for making such broad statements about depression, including that it is not a mental illness, which are contrary to established expert knowledge and science? Jeff has no medical or mental health degree, as far as I can tell. He would be entitled to counter convention if he respected what we know about depression, acknowledged the science, and had damn good evidence. But he has none.
Foster claims to have suffered depression. But, was Jeff ever diagnosed with depression? It sure doesn’t sound like it. Even if he was diagnosed, his prescription is irresponsible to those who are actually depressed. Coincidentally, it sounds like Jeff suffered what his client did in “Divine Suicide”— a misaligned and disillusioned life that weighed upon him, or de-pressed him. But that’s not medical depression; it’s a colloquial, Hollywood-ized, misrepresentation of depression.
Truth is, meditation and some appropriate “analysis” can be helpful as adjuncts to CBT therapy and medication. But, they aren’t even first-line treatments, just possibly helpful adjuncts. So, Foster’s point is a straw-man, or more likely, merely based on more off-the-cuff ignorance, since we’re unlikely to be able to meditate or analyze depression away, anyway.
Most everyone I have treated, been in treatment with, or known who is in deep depression, would do anything to get out of it. If meditation, analysis, and medication help you — and it’s okay by your therapist and/or physician — go for it.
Foster also offers that “we can choose to view depression not as a mental illness . . . ” Yes, we can choose to do that. We can also choose to run red lights, not brush our teeth, or burn down our neighbor’s home. It doesn’t make them good choices.
As I read Jeff’s post and essay, I had to wonder if he isn’t being influenced by the stigma of “illness”—and “mental illness” in particular—thus his reframing dismissal of depression as an illness? In truth, there is nothing wrong or bad about calling depression an illness. Our brains/minds suffer illness just as our hearts and kidneys do. Depression, just because it manifests largely in the mind (though ultimately is a body-mind issue), is not categorically different from diabetes or congestive heart failure. We need to adjust our bias against the term “mental illness,” not mischaracterize serious medical conditions to fit a fearful narrative. Ergo, if one needs it, there’s nothing wrong with taking medication for depression.
SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) are the most common form of depression medication. They also address depression’s evil twin: anxiety. Foster’s wholesale black or white recommendation not to medicate depression is not only unfounded and inappropriate, but dangerous. It also furthers the painful stigma of using medication for depression.
While it’s uncertain whether anti-depressant meds are over-prescribed (the issue is complex and nuanced) this doesn’t mean they’re useless. Far from it. SSRI and other depression medication help many, but not all, sufferers. SSRI medication has been shown to be helpful for moderate to severe depression, but not mild depression, even though the serotonin theory of depression has recently been veritably challenged. Serotonin may play other roles in some types of depression.
Medication saves lives. Seeing a doctor is a good idea, not only for anti-depressants. There is barely a fine line between mind and body. As one commenter on Jeff’s post, who suffered serious depression from a thyroid disorder, says:
Listening to Depression
I tried listening to my own depression when it befell me (as a result of misdiagnosed and untreated OCD), and this made my depression worse. I had spent my entire life listening to my body, to my feelings, and to my good thinking. This had always saved me. But, I learned the hard way that this was not usually wise in depression, or anxiety.
A maxim in the mental health arena is, “depression lies.” Anxiety, I discovered, also lies. For most, it’s not usually a good idea to listen to the “voice” or feelings of depression when it relates to ourselves. You can listen here to Dr. Sapolsky delineate when depression can make our thoughts more accurate or more deluded.
So, finally, I learned to act oppositely and counter-intuitively, to not always “listen” to my body and feelings. Once I came out of depression and anxiety, I could (on most occasions) trust my body and mind again. Abiding this dictum helped save my life, literally. Otherwise, I’d have believed what depression prompted me to do and insinuated about me, others, and the world.
Foster ends his post with, “There is no shame in depression.” This is true, the only true sound bite from the entire post. The shame is not on sufferers, but as commenter Benjamin Tomchak ironically stated to Jeff at the end of his comment:
“Shame on you for oversimplifying a serious and life-threatening illness simply for the sake of profit.”
In Sum
Depression is not “an ancient invitation to rest.” It is an illness, an occasion to get professional help and treatment. I hope you don’t have to suffer unnecessarily from depression. I hope Jeff Foster makes some changes. I leave you with the rest of Benjamin Tomchak’s comment on Jeff’s post, which sums up many of the points made here, as well as novel ones:
Thank you for reading. Please follow me on FB and IG for regular, provocative insights on the interface between spirituality, grief work, holistic medicine, trauma healing, and more.
Jack Adam Weber, M.A., L.Ac. is a holistic medicine physician, award-winning author, somatic therapist, and long-time practitioner and teacher of integrative body-mind practices. He graduated top of his medical class and has been seeing patients for over two decades. Jack is passionately dedicated to psychological depth work and successfully passed through comprehensive, body-centered (somatic) emotional transformation work, which informs the personal growth and trauma work he passionately teaches and shares with others. Learn more at jackadamweber.com
